Poot's Palace

So last Thursday while at Live after 5, some random girl (at least i thought at first she was random) walks up to me and says, "Can i ask you a wierd question?". I was intrigued, so I said "sure". She asked if i went to Florence Christian (which i did for high school). My jaw hit the ground. I said yes and wondered how she knew. She apparently also went there and recognized me somehow. Once i got her name i did remember her vaguely, but never knew her well enough to where i could recognize her 8 years later. So we talk for a bit and Wha and I notice she has a cute friend that liked to talk shit with us. Yada yada yada... they went on the lake with us on sunday and brought some really good food. we drove the boat over as many wakes as possible to watch their sized C and D breasteseses jiggle in the boat.

I left work early Friday to head to Sunset Beach for a pseudo-vacation with my family. Realizing that once both sisters, both nephews, and my parents arrived, there would be no time for me to actually do anything that i wanted to do. So i decided to wake up early Saturday morning and get in a round of golf. There were some rainchecks available from a previous company-sponsored golf trip available for a course just down the road from the beachhouse, so I kissed a little ass Friday morning at work and scored some free golf. I show up at The Thistle at 7:30am Saturday morning to realize that i have been paired up with two old men (not a problem). Shortly thereafter i find out that they are hitting, obviously, from the senior tees and must stand a good 75 yards in front of me for every tee shot. One guy was 70 and the other was 86, deaf, blind in one eye and couldnt see out the other one. The asked my name several times, and each time I responded with "Michael". Around hole 8 i could hear them talking to each other saying, "What was his name again?", the other replied,"I think it was Tim". So for the next 11 holes i was referred to as "Tim" by two old men that could have been cast in Grumpy Old Men in lieu of Walter Mathau and Jack Lemmon. Golf course was great by the way, shot a 40 on the front and 47 on the back. At the end of the round the 86 year old said he just ran out of energy, the 70 year old responded "Your getting too much nookie at night, you shouldnt get laid so much", and the response was,"Whats wrong with 3 times a night."

We moved this weekend into our three bedroom bachelor pad, and Wha finally decided to let his couch get tossed. It has only been sitting in our old apartment since last August stinking and reaking of mold, mildew, and god knows what else was growing in there. We never said much about it before seeing as people actually slept on it when they visited (Brad, you and Lauren may want to get a routine check-up soon). The catch is this, Wha leaves me and Skippy to pitch the couch while he is in class that afternoon(the explanation as to why we were drinking beer at the pool with Jessie and Gene that afternoon). So we go to Goodwill in the middle of BFE (actually it was Southeast Charlotte, way way Southeast Charlotte), they tell us that they cannot accept the couch because a coushion had a cover ripped or torn or whatever the hell was wrong with it. On top of that, they have no idea where the closest dumpster is. Skippy and I have to return the Uhaul in less than an hour with at least a thirty minute drive to the rental spot. We are now stuck with Wha's old dirty ass couch not knowing what to do. Luckily we were on the non-swimming side of town and found an apartment complex that was primarily filled with ex-cotton pickers. Skippy whips in to where the dumpster is located, we hop out Wha's jeep, slide open the Uhaul door, and pitch the couch next to a dumpster. As we pull away, some old dark lady is glaring at us wondering what the fuck two cracker ass white boys is doing in her hood. We arent sure if she was pissed that we dumped on her property or was getting dibs on the couch. Either way, we got rid of it and returned the Uhaul in time. This is why we drank beer that afternoon, for doing the dirty work for Wha and pitching his couch that I have been trying to get him to get rid of for the last several months.

After a fun weekend of drinking non-stop, ass-slapping, and getting nut checked, it was time to return to the norms of my everyday lifestyle. Decided to hit the gym Tuesday to try and burn off some weekend empty calories. While on the crosstrainer machine about 20 minutes into my workout, I felt like I hit wall and my body shut down. I forced myself to finish the workout and promptly sucked about a gallon of water from the drinking fountain. The rest of my working was basically going through the motions to say i went to the gym. Wha and I are attempting to put together "the best CD ever" of classic rock, but we find ourselves constantly re-categorizing songs and the list has turned into about 5 different discs. One for classic rock from the 70's, 80's rock including big hair bands, southern rock, late 80's/90's, and an "other" CD full of good old music that really doesnt fit any one genre. This idea is going to take much longer to come full circle than I had first planned.